I always thought that I undervalued and underappreciated myself. But I am at Omtha’s wedding today in Satara and I can see what I don’t have. I feel so behind all of these people.

• In my job, I take home only ₹1,57,500 right now while all of these earn more
• In love life, I am unmarried and while I have a girlfriend, her parents don’t like me
• In family, I am on good terms with everyone but I am just getting detached

While everyone else here is:

• Having a job paying them at least ₹2,00,000 a month
• Are married or have a fiance they love
• Have great relations not just with their own family but also with the family of friends

Let me not go back to what went wrong. Or let me get back to that later. What can I do from here?

What should be my priority?

• To earn more money and reach a ₹3,00,000 a month figure
• To get married where both families are happy and are on talking terms
• To have great relationship with my family and to live with my parents (but dad is not polite)

What options do I have?

For job/work:

• Either focus on my business and get to a stable ₹3,00,000 per month
• Or, find a job in a company where they pay me ₹3,00,000 per month

For love:

• Get married to K irrespective of how the parents feel about each other
• Or, set K free, focus on work and let parents find someone who they are happy with

For family:

• Just follow the family, help them in their endeavours, live with them and support them
• Or, tell them that I will support you but I am likely to live separately to protect my to-be wife’s peace of mind

In the job and work area, I know my answer and hence I marked it with bold. But in the other two, I just don’t know.

At least in the work area, I know my goal and just need to form a plan of action. But in the other two. I need to think. What serves me better? What will keep me happier and sane and will help me feel less sad about myself?

Let me think.

Are any of my friends having a love marriage?

• Omtha – Love
• Parthi – Arranged
• Dhiraj – Arranged
• Buwa – Arranged
• Sidyam – Arranged
• Ayush – Divorced

Who has really found love through love marriage? All are happier in arranged. But then that’s not determinant of my life. I need to live it my way.

Who is living with parents?

• Omtha – Away (Dubai)
• Parthi – Away (Dubai)
• Dhiraj – Away (Bangalore)
• Buwa – Away (Pune)
• Sidyam – Away (Mumbai)
• Ayush – Away (Mumbai)

But all of them are from cities where they would not have found a job anyway.

I will just keep walking and let god keep showing me the way.